THE RELIGIONS
Taoism:
Shit happens.
Hinduism:
This shit happened before.
Confucianism:
Confucius say: Shit happens.
Buddhism:
It is only an illusion of shit happening.
Zen:
What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Jehovah's Witnesses:
Knock, Knock, shit happens.
Atheism:
There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism:
Maybe shit happens, and maybe is doesn't.
Protestantism:
Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism:
If shit happens, I deserve it.
Judaism:
Why does shit always happen to me?
Televangelism:
Send money or shit will happen to you.
Rastafarian:
Smoke that shit.
Stoicism:
This shit is good for me.
Seventh Day Adventist:
No shit on Saturdays.
Hedonism:
There isn't anything like a good shit happening.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens, Rama Rama.
Existentialism:
What is shit, anyway?
Astrology:
Shit is your destiny.